Why Desi parents may struggle to accept their children. • As parents we may imagine our children’s lives in a specific way. We may dream about what their futures will look like. We may want them to attain our ideas of success, to achieve our unfulfilled dreams and we may be so attached to these ideas that we are disappointed when they make decisions that don’t align. This is so unfair to our children. As difficult as it may be, we cannot force our expectations onto our children because it will ultimately stifle their identities, uniqueness, freedom to be themselves and happiness. • While this is true for all parent child relationships, Desi parents have added layers that affect this dynamic - the Desi communities expectations, religion’s emphasis on parents being judged by their child’s actions, cultural gap between generations raised in different countries, etc. So many of us have made decisions that, while normal in western culture, didn’t align with what our Desi parents wanted for our future. So many South Asian children have been shamed for their decisions, forced to choose between their happiness & their parents, and even disowned by their parents. It can be so scary for so many Desi parents because they feel they are losing their children, culture, values and their identities when their children choose differently than they would have. • Feeling disappointed when your child doesn’t meet those expectations you had for them is normal and understandable. But it is your responsibility to deal with that - that is something you have to process on your own. That is not something we should project on our child as it is not their responsibility to make us happy. Being a parent does not mean control, it does not mean ownership over children and it definitely does not give us the right to force our children into boxes they do not fit into. • Thoughts? • #BrownMamaTrauma #parentsofig #gentleparenting #momsofig #toddlersofig #healing #breakingintergenerationaltrauma #traumahealing #raisinggirls #girlmom #southasianmoms #desimoms #southasianmentalhealth #desiparents ##letgo #guilt #parentingwithtrauma #bengali #indian #pakistani #parenting