I’ve been listening to Ghosts by Muse a lot this week. Trying to move on when I’m still around all the things I created with him and people who ask about him. But he has left. He is finally gone. That shadow of oppression that I felt ruined my life has shifted. It taxed me. I always felt he was there and it made me scared. It made me so anxious. Treacherous parts of me wondered what he was doing. People always asked about what he was doing. Here is to letting go. I don’t want to be in that void again. I want to be with someone who is my cheerleader, not my master. I want to be with someone that reaches out with warmth rather than wondering what the cost will be. I want to live in a house where I don’t fear the return of my partner. I feel with him gone, I can move on without his memory and hopefully mend some of the damage he has done. Not just damage to me, but to the reputation of me as a teacher and to the studio I created. I’m looking forward to getting to the end of the street and not checking for him before I emerge. I didn’t like who I was then. I was trapped. I almost can’t comprehend why I stayed, or why I put up with it, but I had been manipulated to the point that I felt I had no choice until the push was strong enough and I snapped. Without these chains, I hope I can move more freely. Thanks for coming to my ranting confessional. ❤️