Today is our eighth wedding anniversary and marks twelve years since we met. People often ask who proposed to who and how. The truth is we were both conspiring behind each other’s backs to propose first. Would I rent a plane to write ‘Will you marry me’ in the sky above the ocean in Amagansett? Would he organize a flashmob of breakdancers in Washington Square Park? We both knew the other was scheming so one day, while swimming in the beach at Napeague near where we now live, we just asked ourselves why not just get engaged without the element of a grand gesture and surprise. After all, when it’s two men, who is supposed to ask who? We decided that the surprise would be on everyone else. So at a Labor Day party in 2013 to celebrate John’s birthday we casually mentioned it and our friends got the big surprise. I still remember the screams (in a good way). There’s also no protocol for what to do with engagement rings vs wedding rings for gay men so we bought each other a Rolex watch from the years we were born (yes, mine is a little more vintage). To marry @jwattiker was the best decision of my life. Because when you know, you know. The portrait here (with aforementioned watch and our first dog Rhody) was a wedding gift from our amazing photographer friend @jameshoustonphoto. #malcolmandjohn #lovewins