i think the hardest part of being alone is learning to do things alone. and i don’t mean eating alone, going to restaurants alone, or hiking alone—those things came easy. doing things with an obvious purpose alone has always made sense to me. before living in the van i always lived alone. i moved to utah alone, then colorado. independence was something that came naturally. but learning to sit still alone or do nothing alone or have fun alone... i think you need to sit through enough discomfort before you realize you’re worthy of those things. i’ve spent the past few days doing a lot of nothing alone and realizing i should be learning to enjoy alone. i went for a dip in the river alone the other day and it snowballed into so many epiphanies about how i’ve been living my life. i thought memories only made sense when there was someone else to remember them with you. but i spent hours of my life yesterday enjoying existing, alone. swimming in the crystal clear waters of lake crescent, alone. i don’t think i ever expected the feeling of joy alone. i didn’t expect it to change so much for me. i’m smiling looking back and looking forward to more days spent alone and spent happy. photo taken on a tripod (@codymayer22 yes i own one 🥲) because i took this photo of myself alone ✨