As someone who promotes body positivity publicly, I get caught in a mental rut whenever I feel inadequate about my appearance. I think that because I share what I share, having a bad body image day feels wrong and shouldn’t be happening to me. In a way, it feels like I’m a fraud. You would think after someone recovers from such a complex disorder, every day following would be full of happiness and courage, but gaining 40 pounds in less than a year comes with great pride and shame simultaneously. I’ve never received more catcalls and harassment than I have in the past year. Before gaining weight, I would experience comments here and there, but I have never been shaken the way I am now. Wearing almost ANYTHING results in a statement, even when walking alongside my family. It shows that you cannot have everything, and your surroundings are essential to your mental and physical health. Just because you’re proud of how far you have come doesn’t mean you’re unable to feel upset with the circumstances of a particular situation, especially when that situation has been idealized as linear for so long. We have one body during this lifetime, and why not enjoy it as it comes, regardless of the changes it presents? Whether external factors such as catcallers or internal factors that fluctuate daily, reminding yourself total control is never possible is essential and has worked in keeping me grounded. When having bad body image days, I remind myself that my body has gotten me through the ups and downs of life so far. I will someday carry children because of my body and bring another beautiful life into this world. I will grow old and change more and more until I’ve blossomed into someone of natural wisdom, beauty, and experience. All because of this body I’m in right now! How cool is that? Your body is a temple, which doesn’t mean what everyone else thinks it does. Discipline is not what the body needs to be healthy and happy; love and care is ❤️