I tried to deactivate my IG a billion times the past month but IG won't let me idk why but I don't feel as open to sharing myself on here the way I used to. I treated this like my own journal, a safe corner I had made for myself and others, to be vulnerable and open up...but right now it does not feel that way to me. Social media is just absolutely overrated. Toxic monster. I'm in a phase where I think people who want to get to know me can do so in person. Ask me out. Call me. Fly out to me lol Idk and I want to focus on placing my social efforts by investing in people who also want to invest in me. Also, I do it more often than I should but I don't like the feeling I get every single time I talk shit about other people. The fuck do I give a shit about all these lives? We're all just living our own! Why spend even a second of my day doing that? That means less time investing in myself and my loved ones. I just want to say I'm rooting for all of your happiness and growth anyway, even with the people I dislike and don't want to be friends with. Life is too short to fuss over so many petty things and we don't all have to be friends! Stress can kill you, btw. Focus on what you can control. TBH I'm so over life and if I die now, then I feel ready because I've just been staying true to me...buuuut since I'm still on this fucking planet and am probably going to live long, the least I can do is try to live a good life for myself and spread love and warmth with the people around me, touch others' hearts, and inspire love and growth. I don't need a big circle. I like making new friends but also I'm more selective now about who I spend my time with and what I do. I'm too exhausted to appear accommodating. This past year for the most part I've been so so stressed and/or depressed in different ways. To clarify though I've also made a lot of beautiful memories and for that I am so so grateful! Now, I feel myself growing up. It is time for me to use more energy on building myself over petty things like partying + other forms of instant gratification. I think I've had my fair share of fucking it up and being on the "glorified" reckless side of youth. (continued in the comments)