For years, people told me to try trad. 'You'd be so good at it,' they said, but I didn't like being told what to do, so I refused. When they eventually stopped pushing, I finally felt the pull. 'You are so good at trad, when will you climb walls?' They said next, but I didn't know how to dream that big, so I refused. When I eventually started believing in myself, I finally heard the call. 'You must be psyched for the alpine,' they finally said, but I didn't know how to work that hard, so I refused. When I eventually stopped making excuses for myself, I finally started to wonder about my ultimate potential. For my whole climbing career I've put up barriers because of being afraid to be a beginner again, to fail, or to suffer, when I could just continue succeeding in whatever cozy niche I had built for myself. Eventually though, I always get sick of someone telling me I can't do something, especially when that person is myself. 'You gave everyone all these excuses, but is that really who you want to be? Do you really want your dreams to be so limited?' I'll eventually start thinking. That's how I recently ended up at Mount Hooker: an 1,800' big wall hidden nearly twenty miles in the remote Wyoming Wind River backcountry. Was I nervous? Every step of the way. Did I feel unprepared? Always. Were there constant doubts? Up until I stood on the summit. When you really think about it though, those are actually the signs that you have come to the right place. A mountain where you know you are not yet good enough is where you go to learn how to become good enough. If you already knew how, if it were easy, nothing would be gained from the adventure. It's true what was said to me by my friends on our first few failed attempts at climbing in the Winds two years ago: "pressure builds a diamond." So now I finally want to climb big trad walls in the alpine, because that is the beauty and reason to go to the mountains: to find the very edge of who you are and all that you have known, at the failing point of strength and courage, and then climb beyond; for it is the only way to discover how to become even more. 📸 By @miyatsudome on P4 of Gamblin' in the Winds