I know its long caption I sorry 🙈😇 I’ve never really had a strong foundation on confidence in myself. Not knowing you have a mental illness until you turn 18 does something to you, especially the ones I have. Family would say and do things that they thought were harmful but for someone like me it was very. Then to be bullied middle and high school and tbh never really understood why. I just wanted to be everybody’s friend. I didn’t really know who loved me for me or for what I had to offer that can be used and abused then later discarded. I’ve been physically, mentally and emotionally abused by most of the men I’ve come across, especially that damn SA in college. I was bullied and threatened everyday after that! Forced me to have to drop out of school with fail.. Everyone always says, “you gotta love yourself”, but how do you learn to as a child when all you heard was complaints and hate towards you your whole life? No one knew what was going on in my head and I really didn’t know how to explain that in a calm manner and now we know why. Fast forward to now, I’ve been able to finally break free from some trauma and have been healing myself. It’s hard affff! But it’s so worth it. I can finally see how beautiful I really am, despite my flaws. I’m learning I can’t be perfect and not everyone is going to like how I am or how I look or act but there are people out there who will and those are the people I should only care about. Yes my right brain gets it, it’s just convincing the left side 🥴 lol. ITS OK! I know I can and I know I will. I never understood why God gave me the heart and soul he did. Now I do and I love it 🥰. I just have my days lol 😁 #thisisme #learningtolovemyself #selflove #traumarecovery #healing #selfconfidence #iambeautiful #iamnotmyillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #love #tarimahmalika #thatcurlyheadedweirdo #fyp