“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending”. Thich Nhat Hanh The parasympathetic nervous system acts like a brake a reflexive use of over-adapted coping mechanisms in the real or perceived presence of trauma. Given 4 categories unique to our emotional experience -an unconscious default: Fight. Flight. Freeze. Fawn. To know the difference between what is instinct what is a trauma response in the moment once trigger and reaction has done it’s thing- left the room been and gone. If it was Fight it was the way you knew how to protect yourself and survive maybe nothing is attacking now though the righteousness has gone, along with it’s brother certainty leaving broken bridges and a stowaway- remorse. If it was Flight it was the way you knew how to remove yourself from danger and survive maybe now there is none maybe they care and the need to flee has passed what is left behind now in this moment? If it was Freeze it was the way you knew how to cope with the frightening and survive but now they or it are not there only a reminder of it is. If it was Fawn it was the way you knew how to abandon your own needs to those of another and survive in the face of threat though now you are allowed to have your own needs met and not be abandoned because of them. On the mapless route to the comfort and clarity of neutral, lies a pathless terrain that you can forge can you promise yourself this?