*May sound better with headphones🤗* Alright, random post on Halloween, but allow me to procrastinate for a minute 😅. Been letting my camera run during jam sessions this year. And sometimes, I’ll just let shuffle pick some tracks and I’ll learn to play them if I don’t already know and just groove. Kind of my version of freeform journaling. An exercise in letting go. Of going with it. And when sometimes I get caught up in a particular groove, I like to stay with it and ride it out. See if it has anything to tell me or if the colors change the more I listen. A lot of times these sessions can go for hours, so I often don’t get around to watching the video, but since I have work to do tonight, this one from a couple weeks back was suddenly a must watch lmao. My brain is weird in how it connects things, so hopefully you’ll follow 😂 Anyways, this is from the very end of one of those sessions and it struck me in so many ways. First of all I was cracking up at my face at the end (“Damn, true story 🤔”) lol. But mostly it just spoke to my journey in a unique way. Not necessarily the words themselves, though there’s certainly some truth in how I’ve felt about myself and my fears around love the last few years. But mostly just the process of finding truth. Of finding yourself comfortable in your narratives. Then the disillusionment, the resistance, the denial. The repetition of the patterns wearing you down just enough to slip past your ego to the places you feel most vulnerable. And idk, as I sang it felt like the more I let go of my need to control it, the more comfortable I became with that vulnerability. The more honest it was. The more honest I was with myself. Little by little. Until all that was left was the core of it. The truth. And then just like that there was no more need for the loop. Now mind you, that doesn’t mean I can’t be hooked back into it. Because, even now that I see the truth of it, the loop is familiar and comfortable. And I’ve only ever feared the unknown. But the unknown is kind of where it’s at, isn’t it? And it’s moments like this that remind me of the beauty we allow room for if we can learn to let go and trust ourselves 😊