Hello! Today is my 36th birthday. This post is not about trying to sell you on anything in particular, just a place for some feelings I have. I’m in kind of a new zone right now, creatively and personally. I’ve noticed folks who have paid attention to the things I do joking around that I’m in a million bands and am constantly making things, y’know, like “when does she sleep?!” And, as it turns out, a big part of the motivation behind that (aside from the fact that I love making music, of course) was fear, scarcity, and a lack of self-worth. I feel grateful for everything that aligned to give me a chance to figure out that my workaholism was a coping mechanism, something entirely separate from my genuine creative drive and passion. But now I feel like I’m in this strange “waiting” space—I know some other motivator is going to emerge to fill that space, but I’m not sure what it’s going to look like and, strangely, I’m not in the biggest hurry to find out. I am definitely feeling *older*, and I’m trying to meet that with curiosity rather than fear. Overall, I’d say this might be the happiest I’ve ever felt in my life. Or perhaps the word is “satisfied?” I feel so happy to be alive right now. I think I’m enjoying my life more because I’m actually here for it—I’m noticing it as it happens. I’m really excited to finally have a chance to play some live shows later this month, but I don’t really know when I’ll feel like writing music again, and that actually feels okay. Life feels fragile, and just so beautiful. Love to all the people (near and far) who fill my life with meaning and purpose—if you’re reading this, you’re on that list. Special thanks to my @boniver family for making the last few weeks such a blast and to @dijondijon_ + band for 1) blowing me away every single night and 2) gifting me with this signed regulation basketball!