Forced, awkward personal disclosures are a terrible way to kick anything off, Kate Cray writes. ⁠ ⁠ The goals of icebreakers “may be noble, aiming to let group members get to know one another in a more human way before they have to work or study together. But rather than putting people at ease, too often these prompts only create more discomfort. Work and school are already stressful, and the pressure to make a good impression is high. When it’s required, fun just isn’t that fun anymore,” Cray writes. Psychology can lend some insight into why such activities can feel so painful. For one, people typically aren’t given much time to prepare, and even after you’ve decided what you’ll say, the act of sharing is essentially an instance of public speaking: a major source of anxiety for many people. “When people have a conversation with someone new, they tend to overestimate, basically, how harshly they’re being judged by those people,” one expert told Cray. This phenomenon is known as the liking gap, and it’s even stronger in shy people.⁠ ⁠ “Although icebreakers might not always be pleasurable, some research does indicate that they can be good for workplace productivity. One 2000 study found that playing name games actually helps people remember others’ names, which makes working together easier. Another showed that sharing embarrassing stories about oneself led to more creative brainstorming—perhaps because the activity preemptively alleviated any fears of humiliation that might have kept people from sharing their most daring ideas,” Cray continues at the link in our bio. “Turning forced humiliation into something employees actually enjoy might be unrealistic, but, under the right conditions, it is possible to have a good time with office games. Ethan Mollick and Nancy Rothbard, two professors at Wharton, found that when employees consent to an activity, partaking in it does make them happier—something that has been true in my own experience as well.”