reflecting tonight. looking back at my younger self. genuine tears of happiness at who i am now. accepting of myself and the love God has for me is unparalleled. thankful. growing up i never felt accepted anywhere. i grew up in a place where self deprecating humor was my only way of feeling with the “in” crowd. every day my existence had to be rationalized and reasoned with. all the smiles would mask the insecurities and sadness that would be hidden from everybody. no one knew i was going through it unless i said it. all the times where my “friends” would make remarks invalidating my blackness with the hard r, comments as blunt as “you’re not black,” and other micro aggressions stick out. ways in which i was not accepted as “black” in my town nor “Ethiopian” when visiting the motherland stick out. no place for me anywhere. i remember giving hugs to my guy friends as a freshman in high school but was told to cool it because of perception. i had a lot to give but found myself eating lunch in the computer room or journalism room to escape it all. not play the games everyone else was playing. i saw longterm. now longterm is best classified as “eternal.“ i’m building things that’ll be forever. Jesus is my walking partner in this and i’m called to tell truths no matter how disgruntled others may become. i know who i am meant to build with. upholding a social image is wack to me. revisionist history is wack to me. i accept the praise for His kingdom. for the past few years i’ve externalized thoughts of not making it to the end of the year alive. now it’s a different life i’m chasing. there is a clear cut purpose and i won’t shy away from it. i’ll tell the truth from a place of love and i have faith people will be able to discern its authenticity for themselves. i’m thankful for the opportunity to live. i pray for you all to feel like this. grounded, eager, determined. everything i do will always be for one’s inner child and physical children too. that is the game i’m playing and the world i live in. hope you choose to join me here 🤍🫂