subtle summers, spent at the driver’s wheel. driving for what will later accumulate to thousands of miles. ironic because i didn’t attain my license until i was 20 years old. at the time i feared driving. i relegated myself to walking every chance i got, hiding behind that shadow that i eventually outgrew. until the only shadow left was “fear” itself. that shadow visited me in a dream recently, beating at my chest incessantly due to it dying right before me. the instance made me reflect. moments in the summer often slow down, characterized by a slow burning that begins with the sun on my skin and later permeates in interaction. with environment, with people, with oneself. lots of people i know take the summer as an opportunity to travel and explore elsewhere but in the last few years, i only recount a handful of times where i wasn’t in los angeles for an extended period of time. 2020 is the most prominent. it was the beginning of my healing. a desire for a more profound spiritual presence. light over dark. this summer i actively decided to not wear black as a primary color. selling pieces from my closet that didn’t actively represent myself. i find it intriguing how affinity can be attributed to whatever one finds fit. how memory and perception often clash and allow nostalgia to be weaponized in the psyche. allowing for stagnation to take place. dangerous. places i used to frequent have lost their magic. simply because they were never built to last. i look at this platform and opt to use it how my 18 year old self once did. honestly. in this next chapter, honesty will further be explored. stories that i am called to tell will come to fruition. and healing will be at the forefront. forgiveness will be applied. all in a precise and calculated way. subtle summers. where the city burns up in entirety. leading its way into frank falls. gratitude rings for Jesus, my family, my friends. i used to be the most depressed in the summers because of the still moments but now i welcome those. because as we move closer and closer towards the inevitable, the blanket of life i lay on keeps me grounded. in the sand, in the grass, in miscellaneous terrain. love you, thank you.