during this exact moment [15:45 EST] one year ago, i received my last text message from jennifer. i’d escaped to Joshua Tree a few days before; to drown the sorrows of c*vid & down a ziploc of mushrooms, and i was just about to head back to Orange County...she told me to be safe, and when i said i’d hit her when i got back to my apartment...she responded with “K.” now...if you knew jen even just a little bit — i’m talkin’ the casual tweet or DM, even — you are aware of two things...one being that she communicated textually like AOL instant messenger was still a thing...regardless of platform — i’m talkin’ like bam, bam, bam, bam, bam — paragraphs were not a thing. the second? she haaaaated when anybody responded with “K.” my drive was about two hours from where we stayed and by the time gretchen & i got home, i’d received zero AOL alerts...not a THING from jen [@ jkskorpio86 if you’re wondering] and that was weird. she was upstate with her parents, but we were supposed to be super gay & watch RHOBH together on FaceTime a few hours later...and by the time 8pm came around, i started calling. she ain’t do that either btw, but desperate times...right?? to this very day, i’m still wondering why i didn’t just throw g back in the car and drive-up to see why she wasn’t responding. i’ve stopped blaming myself at some point in the last 365 days, but the wonder is still very present. tomorrow’s gonna be a hard day but i’m gonna celebrate the fuck out of jennifer marie kosta! ps: PLEASE CHECK-IN ON THE HEARTS OF YOUR FRIENDS!!! EVEN THE ONES WHO HAVE STRATEGIZED BEYOND THE DETRIMENT THE LAST 2.5YRS HAVE BROUGHT UPON IS ALL...IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!