I had the easiest, most enjoyable pregnancy. I loved it, I loved my belly, I loved showing it off. I prepared myself for a natural birth with daily meditations for hypnobirthing. I imagined myself giving birth in water, holding my baby close afterwards. I knew that there could always be unpredictable complications but I would have never imagined anything like this. I felt that something was wrong the day it happened. I was having lunch with my mom and started crying knowing something’s not right. That night I woke up in my bed full of blood with premature rupture of the membranes. The ambulance took us to the hospital and 5 min later she was born via emergency c section. We were just in time. The placenta started to loosen. When I woke up from anesthesia I was shaking and couldn’t stop crying. My body was in shock. My baby at the neonatal station. We could only see her hours later. The next day she had to go through surgery, this teeny tiny human. Everything went well and she recovered so well. When I tell you we had some guardian angels I mean a lot of them. I’m so grateful for modern medicine and everyone working in health care. They saved both our lives. This is not the birth story I was hoping to share, but this is our story. And we made it through those weeks at nicu staring at those monitors. I’m sharing this because after talking to so many people with similar experiences I feel like there is a lot of shame and you can feel kind of lonely. I felt ashamed I wasn’t able to deliver in a “normal” way. Felt guilty not providing for her till the end. I’m starting therapy now and I know talking about it is starting the healing process ❤️‍🩹 The last slide is her telling me she’s over it after weeks of trying to breastfeed in hospital 😅 We introduced the bottle with me pumping milk and days after we were released and could finally take her home ❤️ I couldn’t have done it without the loving support from family and friends who brought us home cooked meals and care packages and prayed for us through this journey. And @jojogronostay being the best support, being there every minute (he was allowed to) and now being the best dad ever. I love our family so much 💗