Fuck, I hate vulnerability. But I’m posting this anyway, because it needs to be said—and I know I’m not the only one who’s felt this way. Most of what I share here is fun, sexy, ravey, fashion-forward content… and yeah, I’ll probably end up deleting this later. But right now, this is what’s real for me. Several months ago I ended a six-year relationship with my fiancé, someone many of you know and love—a good person who struggled with addiction. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made… but I chose myself. And in that choice, I’ve started to reclaim a version of me I thought I’d lost. Surprisingly, I’m doing better than I ever imagined. I’m realizing that I get to write my own story. I don’t have to be held back by someone else’s pain or their path. Choosing independence—especially at this point in my life—has been terrifying. But it’s also been empowering. Addiction doesn’t just destroy the person suffering. It ripples out and impacts everyone who loves them. If you know, you know. In the video I’m sharing, you’ll see me in one of my most broken moments—singing my heart out to songs that finally make sense. Every lyric hits different when you’re actually living it. But you’ll also see the love that’s held me up: my beautiful friends, my ride-or-die family, the people who reminded me I’m not alone. Singing those lyrics was a release. A grief. A rebirth. A realization that in my brokenness, I was also rising. Like a phoenix from the ashes. Cliché, maybe. But real. Since making the hardest decision of my life, the universe has started showing up for me in ways I couldn’t have expected. New people, new opportunities, new energy. Healing is messy, nonlinear, and sometimes lonely—but damn, it’s worth it. To anyone who loves someone struggling with addiction: Please know—you are not alone. You are not responsible for saving them. You cannot fix them. But you can take your life back. You can reclaim your time, your energy, your joy. If you ever need someone to talk to, please reach out. I see you. I get it. You are not weak for walking away. You are strong for surviving. And most of all—you’re allowed to choose yourself. ~Beth @illenium #crawlouttalove