Happy 1st bday to Fatigue🎂It’s an album about change and I’m honestly not sure much has, neither in the world nor in myself. Despite this, like some default to entropy + chaos maybe, bowing to the near impossible, something inside me still believes. I had a dream that I told my friends, if I don’t have hope what else do I have? I don’t talk like this, but hope emerged in my dream world to remind me of my deepest convictions. But belief has to be a catalyst. It cannot exist without feedback, community, and accountability. This is the lesson I need to learn. I am only days into deeply understanding. The darkest dark comes with the brightest light—a clarity at the bottom like a saline drip. So I guess if I can get here to this point of knowing, I have to believe that I can get to the point of doing. I / we have to. When I broke my heel the immobilization was part of the healing. I couldn’t see it but it was happening little by little every single moment. I rested and then started to walk. Bones are constantly regenerating and with every step comes more strength. A continual renewal of matter. There’s something deeply confusing and deeply right about my first steps as a baby being like my first steps as an adult after healing. How can I trust my body and the ground when I can be set back so quickly? How can I believe that I can change when I make the same mistakes? How can I believe in justice when we are being attacked? One year later I still wonder. But I do understand in a new way. I have a new understanding of myself, of my mental health struggles. Underground resistance movements are adapting to morphing political landscapes. Change. Not what I envisioned, maybe not exactly what I need, but something is here. I need to see it and dive deep to grow understanding into more substantive change: alchemize knowing into doing. I won’t give up and I hope my loves don’t give up on me. I hope we don’t give up on the promise of a better world. The path is not linear nor clear, but it’s there. I will walk down it and try not to be afraid of the detours. IG word limits don’t cut it. ♾gratitude. Thanks SO much for listening and for your support. Be safe + take care❤️