As I walked into the Alamo Dome to compete in qualifiers, I wasn’t striding in, brimming with confidence, expecting to be a competitive athlete in this competition. My last competition season I felt strong was 2019. That was before my beloved mama died, (that’s still so hard to say). 2019 was before I became ill. I developed an auto immune disease (UC) due to the stress of watching my mom suffer from Bladder Cancer. I didn’t compete in 2020, the year I lost my mom. I’m 2021, trying desperately to hold on to ninja, I competed even though my heart wasn’t in it, my body was failing me, and grief, grief just overwhelms every facet of your life. I fell on the second obstacle in qualifiers, which made last year my worst season ever. This season, I decided to take all the pressure off of myself, and go into qualifiers with an emphasis on feeling JOY on the course, on feeling my my✨self✨ out there. Not on moving on to LA, not on being in the top 30, JUST on the reason I love this sport so much, because of how much I truly enjoy the feeling of those few minutes on the biggest playground in the world. So learning I was one of SEVEN women who qualified in the top 30 competitors was so incredible! Moving with command over my body and TRUSTING it to comply brought joy that I can’t even put into words. A memory that will always come to mind as I think back, is when @isabella.ninja said “Barclay, you’re back!” And I knew it was TRUE 🥲 I’m doing a Q&A in my story today to talk more about Qualifying! Go shoot me a question in my stories!