It’s been a long time coming... nearly two years of back and forth, and now the day has come. The last two years have been the most challenging years of my adulthood. Giving up was never an option, but LAWD knows I’ve been tested. I remember walking out of an old studio I used to record in, in Holland Park, feeling worthless and realising that the only way I would be able to move forward would be to start over entirely. Starting over meant letting go of many parts of myself, of all of my expectations, of all my attachments to “success”, and redefining what a life worth living looked like to me. I remember talking to my therapist last year, breaking down about everything in my life falling apart, and being unsure if this colors show (which was in talks then) would come through. In hindsight, I am so grateful this worked out the way it did as the evolution of my spirit in the past year alone has been so significant that I know I would not have been prepared. This moment is a reminder to trust the process (as redundant as that may sound). Despite all of this, it’s been hard to celebrate this arrival without drifting into feelings of fear and of shame. I’ve spent the last few days trying to learn what celebrating myself really looks like. Verbalising the gratitude, counting the blessings, and allowing myself to feel proud- a door which only ever seems to be cracked and never fully open; this is the moment I have to kick it down and let the excitement sink in!! This moment is a landmark for me because I am here on my own terms and presenting to you a very vulnerable, true, and more liberated version of myself. It is a manifestation of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown. I feel endless gratitude for that. I hope that my spirit reaches you through this song. Thanks for listening 🌻🌻🌻 & immense appreciation to @yano.xyz and the whole team @colorsxstudios @maisonvalentino @malcolmyaeng @victoriareutermua @laurainebailey Here’s “vanishing” prod by @_tevn_ mixed by @blueymay piano by @_george_moore guitars by @shootyourego sincerely, anaiis 🕊