When your partner reacts and it upsets your child, it can feel like you’re caught in the middle trying to calm your child’s emotions and manage the tension between them and your partner. Here’s the science behind what’s happening:
Children’s nervous systems are still developing, and when they feel overwhelmed, they look to adults for cues on how to regulate. This process is called co-regulation. When a caregiver helps a child calm their nervous system through presence, empathy, and connection. But co-regulation doesn’t stop with the child. Parents and partners are human too, and when emotions run high, our own nervous systems can get triggered. That’s why it’s important to come back together later, with curiosity and calm, to repair and support each other. If moments like these leave you feeling stuck, you’re not alone and you can learn to understand and support your nervous system better. Try our free Regulation Questionnaire to get clear on your body’s signals and build more calm and connection in your family. 
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