I am a prime example of how someone can look good on the outside and still feel incredibly fragile on the inside. I’m glad that sharing my story has helped normalise some of your problems and helped people feel less alone in their suffering. A 🪣 full of you have asked for a recovery update so here’s a mini one in the small space that the instagram caption limit will allow...Oh and quite a lot of you have asked for more details on what actually happened to me. Unfortunately I'm not in a position to do this right now for 2 reasons: 1. I have a lot of pregnant friends and I don’t want to scare anyone - I would hate to hear my story whilst pregnant. 2. Apparently I don't know the full extent of what happened to me second time round and I'm not mentally strong enough to go in for my debrief yet. I have however been told by one of my mental health doctors that it's worse than what I think I know, and trust me what I do know is absolutely horrendous so let's just assume the worst and I think you're there. So how am I? Well. I have mental issues I have colon issues I have uterus issues I don’t know which is the worst atm, probably still the mental, but they’re all pretty intertwined. 🧠 I’ve been on my new medication escitalopram for nearly 4 weeks and am still having some unpleasant side effects. It’s still a bit up and down but a VAST improvement on the sertraline which just didn’t suit me at all (I just want to be clear that I have close friends who have had great success on Sertraline so if you’re on it then please don’t panic). Sadly it is NOT a one size fits all policy, we all have a different genetic makeup/physiology. Personally it made me feel v agitated, like I wanted to drill a hole into both ears and release some pressure in my brain. I couldn't concentrate on anything other than the sheer discomfort. Thankfully (or I wouldn't be alive) it would come in waves so I would have moments of total clarity. Aside from that I’ve managed to ween myself off the antipsychotics and I’m gradually starting to have more ‘old Louise’ thoughts. I’ll surprise myself when I have a thought and it’s something that I might have thought BL (before Leo) and then I’m like👇🏼