For Halloween I thought about what truly terrified me this past year. Was it Michael Myers? Freddy? Jason? Chucky? The cost of inflation? Rising gas prices? Apt rentals? No. It was the drunk girl. She was unstoppable this year. Trying to pee in my booth. Throwing her phone in my face. Entitled. Locking herself in the bathroom and passing out on top of the sink. Asking security where she could dance to hip hop and Bad bunny but only with other Caucasian people. She was celebrating her bday. Getting married. She had no gay to tell her she was a mess. She was berating bartenders while asking for really strong drinks. Please. Don’t be that girl. The funny thing is I had 3 of these girls AND a gay and they didn’t even realize I was roasting them and that was just one night.