When a breakup or divorce hurts so bad it feels like our world is ending... our abandonment wound has probably been activated. Any wounds or emotional injuries we incur from our past carry forward into our present and often get activated over and over until we have the awareness, capacity, or tools to heal. Someone leaving, a relationship ending, being fired, going through a divorce (even if we’re the ones who chose to end it) can feel surprisingly devastating to the nervous system when we have an abandonment wound. Feelings of unworthiness, anxiety and fear might become overwhelming, we might lose or gain weight, overspend or rely on substances to distract, medicate or numb the pain. An abandonment wound can trick us into believing that we need something from another person in order to be ok. That we need them back, we need them to validate us, forgive us, apologize, and the list goes on. But in reality, none of that is necessary for healing to begin, because often the pain you’re in is about something much deeper than the current circumstance. Often, it’s about an original wound - being vulnerable and not feeling protected, loved, or tended to. And most of us have this wound on some level. What’s beautiful about gaining this knowledge is that we can redirect our attention and energy on focusing outward, and begin to come home to ourselves. That looks like noticing what’s happening in our bodies when we are about to text the ex or indulge in an unhealthy behavior and returning to presence. It looks like reminding ourselves “I’m safe, and it’s ok to feel”. Emotions are only energy, they come and they go. Let yourself move through the waves. @sheleanaaiyana