“I am learning that my masculinity is not defined by rage, crippling addiction, or my Father. My masculinity is defined by my ability to protect the ones that I hold close, my capacity to love them, and my urgency to make amends when I miss the mark. The more I navigate my gender identity, the more I grieve for my Father. I think about how painful it must be to build a fortress around your heart, how unfulfilling it must be to walk alone and not seek out help. Though I grieve for him and the lack of love in his life, I release his burdens, his shame, his addictions, and his anger. These things were never mine. I hope that someday he forgives himself for the violence and the harm that he projected onto me. I do not want an apology. I am no longer angry. I am empathetic. I am a brick home, yet I am soft as clay. These parallels exist uninhibited inside my soul. I am not my Father.” - @issadadhat Full essay over at Patreon.com/ButchIsNotADirtyWord - link in bio. And welcome to Amber Jones, our newest monthly columnist ❤️ 📸 by @esthergoodboy #butch #butchisnotadirtyword #butchplease #butchesofinstagram #queerpoc #qpoc #qwoc #gender #butchdyke #dykes #dyke #queer #lgbtqia #lgbtqiaplus #lgbtqiapride #pride2022 #masc #mascofcenter #gendernonconforming