Latest column for @theipaper - felt it was so important to chart this in a way that was compassionate but also reflective of the women I know, including myself. For most of my life, I’ve been spoon fed the idea that if you’re a woman who dates men, you should be grateful for the attention of men. That as long as someone desires you, or is willing to say yes, it’s enough. That women diminish in sensuality and desire as they get older. That men are just bad at organising their own lives and women are better at multi-tasking. That the worst thing to do would be to be alone, especially as you get older. Well fuck that. Many of us who have lived a life and survived a lot, know that when you invite someone into your life, it doesn’t simplify things - it makes it more complex. Sometimes in wonderful ways and sometimes in tough ways. And so unsurprisingly, given the evolution of gender roles, the increase in financial freedom, women are being more selective about who they share their lives with. Moreover, a lot of women my age are having the best time with their sex lives dating younger men as well as men our age - and I don’t think some men in their 40s and 50s have a clue at how much we have evolved and changed, and how we are no longer willing to settle in a way previous generations may have done. No wonder, then, that some men are finding it harder to go on dates and find partners because they aren’t evolving in the same way when it comes to relationship standards- and as I say in the article, no one benefits from this. Link in bio for 24 hours and stories https://t.co/eLalxUypH6 #instagram #instagood #instadaily #over40 #inspiration #wisewords