Last night, an organization I love dearly presented me with their Rising Leader award. @positiveexposure seeks to reframe how the world perceives disability and diagnosis by celebrating the beauty of our diversity and centering our humanity. Their work is powerful and needed, and they’ve been doing it for 25 years! I didn’t know until just beforehand that I’d have the chance to say something when I went onstage. So, I shared what was on my heart and mind about how I’ve so often felt like I should make myself small, take up less space, reject my disability as part of me. But what I actually reject is the notion that my disability makes me less than whole. Even on the days I’m struggling with my self-esteem, I have just as much of a right as anyone else to take up space. As the event wrapped up, I felt really appreciative of the many kind people who came to tell me what I said resonated. One woman said I should’ve given the heads up that my speech would be so powerful so she’d have known to record it. But then she started to tell me about her son who was at home with his girlfriend while she was traveling for the event, and about her other son who had a genetic disability and had passed away. And she said, almost conspiratorially, “I don’t worry about leaving my son at home with his girlfriend. You know what I tell him? You better be careful or you’ll end up with a kid who has a genetic condition like your brother.” I can’t even imagine the emotion tangled up in losing a child because of a medical condition, and I do not begrudge that pain and grief and very real fear for even a second. But as someone who has a genetic condition, as someone who had not even an hour ago made a speech about how hard I fight to accept myself in a world that doesn’t accept me—the woman’s comment really stung. It made me feel like my existence is a cautionary tale for abstinence. Like I’m a mistake. And that was hard to take, especially on a night meant to uplift the exact opposite mindset. So this is a reminder for me, but also for anyone who needs it right now: you are no one's cautionary tale. You belong here, exactly as you are. (Image descriptions in comments.)