It doesn’t happen very often but sometimes as a model I get triggered and old eating disorder thought pathways are lit up again. Whether it’s when I have to deal with a lot of rejection, or I’m standing in a room of only sample-size girls wondering what I’m doing there, or I’m just having a really bad self-image day. It happens less and less as time goes on, but it still happens and I think it always will. In times like this I remind myself how far I’ve come in my #eatingdisorderrecovery. I genuinely look at the girl I was and see someone who was suffering, deeply unhappy and filled with self-loathing, and although sometimes I (sadly) wonder if I would be a more successful model if I was still living in her body, I wouldn’t trade places with her in a million years. A moment of thinking old thoughts and feeling familiar feelings isn’t a step backwards - it doesn’t take away from the fact that I am now happy, I feed and take care of myself, I wholeheartedly understand that I am not my body-image, and I love and respect myself and my body and all it does for me. I’ve been doing this for a while but I feel like I’ve just started modelling again in a whole new body and with a healthy mindset that I wish I had always had. #edrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisordersupport #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters @neda