I struggled with mental illness, PTSD and drug addiction and 7 years ago I made a decision that change my life. Today I’m celebrating 7 years without drugs and alcohol and I’m grateful beyond words for what my life is like today. I’m fairly private about my personal life but I felt moved to share this intimate part of me with you today. I know there’s someone reading this who is suffering and feels helpless, hopeless, lonely and ashamed and is thinking that their life is not worth living. I once felt that way. I was in so much pain and deep in addiction. The thought of leaping off my 13 story building crossed my mind often. I was broken, suffering in silence to keep up the illusion that I had my life together, that I was successful and happy. From the outside it probably seemed like I was to a lot of people - even those close to me. I don’t demonize drugs or those that partake. I believe, in the beginning, drugs helped me in many ways. They helped me unlock parts of myself, cope with trauma, bond with people and think about the world in new ways. But early on there were ways in which I lost control and as my life got complicated - things escalated. I had experienced abuse and trauma which were very much tied to my career. Drugs and alcohol became a self soothing mechanism as well as a bandaid for other inherent undiagnosed mental illness. I collapsed inward. I was unable to cope, to heal or be present and face my reality. By the end of my using I was completely alone- drinking vodka from the bottle and awake for days on all sorts of substances. I was desperate. I somehow found the strength to ask for help. It was not easy. (I couldn’t fit my whole post so the rest is above in picture) Thank you @poseymfg for taking this gorgeous photo!