my birthday was everything i needed it to be & the saddest day at the same time. i never thought in a million years i wouldn’t have my mom with me while turning 30. my family has endured an experience no one should have to live with. everything i knew about my life or what i wanted changed. i just miss my mom and battle with living this life without her in a way that would make her proud. everyday i wake up is a choice to try. i miss parts of me i will never get back. my faith in God has wavered. and not sure when it will get back. grief has taken a toll on me. more than i think i could ever put into words. i guess when you hit the bottom, you can only go up from there. i hope my 30s bring me peace, love & healing. —— to those of you who have given me so much grace, extended empathy & stuck with me, thank you. thank you for the random check ins, the kind words and the love. it’s keeps me going. —— to my brothers, i love you guys more than life itself. i wouldn’t know where i would be without you. thank goodness mommy gave us each other 🤍 —— mommy, i love you and will miss you for the rest of my days. i hope you see us and are proud.