My first time, hard to explain Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think He's my first mistake @vanessacarltonactual 🤍 September 19th 2009 Story time - September 19th I was 19 in undergrad and he was 23 getting his doctorate at Florida State University. I drove 5 hours north to Tallahassee from Central Florida to see my "first love" for the weekend. I went to the @maccosmeticsusa counter in the mall and did my makeup ( by my at the time makeup artist who turned out to be my boss at MAC when I worked for the company 5 years later). I dressed up and went to his place that night to be met with saucer like lipid pool eyes. His eyes were diluted from smoking. He welcomed me in. I sat on the bed and started talking as usual. He offered me his bong and while I was new to weed I accepted. Fatal move. We began to cuddle in bed and while I laid on his chest I heard cars honking, I could hear my friends talking and laughing, I saw neon signs and a white robe he had in the bathroom door transformed into Kimora Lee Simmons in a satin saffron wrap dress. I was hallucinating. I began to freak out when my knees, hands, elbows and toes began to tingle as if they were about to fall asleep. He told me to calm down that it was pure green and that I just need to drink water and it'll be fine. I sat up, drank water and tried to relax. Next thing I know I'm being deflowered. I lost my virginity that night. It hurt and I was high. When it was over he got dressed and asked me if I wanted to talk before leaving. I knew I couldn't drive in my current state and asked if I could sleep it off to which he basically said no. He "couldn't tell me what I wanted to hear" but he wanted me to go. He offered me coffee, Gatorade or gas money but he needed me to leave. I took his offer and he walked me to the car and told me he wanted to see me in two weeks. He kissed me and I sat in the car and felt the car move in reverse but it was parked the whole time. I was not OK nor was I OK to drive. I was scared and sad. I just made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. #virgin #virginity #white #mistakes #vanessacarlton #girlslikeus #lanapatel