it’s been 4 years today since i lost my mom and best friend and god i miss talking to her. motherhood and its responsibilities are so many things, as is citizenship, and she was a master at both. her absence was bound to be difficult but the general turn of events since her passing has left me more than a few times times angry at her for not being here. newborn. global pandemic. trump. protests. climate change. moving etc. etc. then I hear her laugh and say “i’m sorry did somebody tell you life was fair?”this was a favorite refrain of hers and it carried weight. she was never able to have her own children thanks to endometriosis and battled cancer twice and then MS. but these things didn’t define her. she refused sympathy though demanded we had empathy for others. i have leaned into this a lot in navigating the world without her and it’s when i feel her most. i may just sneak a smoke with my drink tonight in her honor❤️