TFW you see your kid hit her little sister out of nowhere. It’s like in a movie when time slows down and the character yells NO-OO-OO-OO 😲Then snaps back into place, and you’re standing there thinking, “WTF! Is my kid a psychopath? Is she not even caring that she just hurt someone?! She needs to learn to care. We need to make this right.”🚨 Then the words pop right out: “YOU NEED TO GO SAY SORRY FOR HITTING HER.” We’re not big on forced apologies, which usually looks like this: Her head is downcast, you’re standing over her, and she mutters, “Sorry.” Forced apologies can leave them feeling ashamed, like they were a “bad boy or girl” — feelings that totally inhibit any real learning + growing from happening.👎 What’s our goal in this moment? We want to teach our kid not to hit teach her to FEEL sorry + teach her to FEEL remorseful. What we want to do is built internal motivation for saying she’s sorry.🧠 When you force your kid to say sorry, the muttered apology is EXTERNAL MOTIVATION, to make YOU happy - or to just make you stop talking, frankly. No lessons learned, no long term growth.👋 So, if your goal is to help your kid build empathy after they’ve hit, nix the “forced apology” + try this: ✨”LET’S SEE HOW WE CAN HELP HER FEEL BETTER.”✨ Why is this different than forcing an apology? ✨You’re guiding their attention to the fact that the other kid HAS FEELINGS TOO.✨ ✨You’re showing them that feelings can change - and when you or someone doesn’t feel so good, you can make it feel better with care + love.✨ ✨⁠ Kids LOVE being involved, not orders being barked at them. The best way to teach, is to involve them.✨ ✨By leading the interaction now, you’re teaching them how to have empathy all on their own soon.✨ These steps build INTERNAL motivation, and someday soon, you’ll hear your kid at the playground say “Sorry, are you okay?” And you’ll actually swell with pride and maybe pass out and die on the spot (speaking from experience).💀😭🙌💯 ✨Struggling with discipline, power struggles & skill building? Our course, Winning the Toddler Stage, is here to help. For parents of kids ages 1-6. Link in bio!✨