No one tells you how loud the split will feel once you become a mother and still want a self. I talked about this last week, the split between the mother I want to be and the artist I promised myself I wouldn’t lose, and so many people wrote back saying they feel the exact same fracture. Most people said they eventually chose one or the other. They either gave everything to their kids and their practice slowly dried up…or they went all-in on their work and grieved the time they can’t get back. No one said it felt like a clean decision. Everyone said it cost something. I think that’s why this season is so intense, there is no version where one love doesn’t bleed when you feed the other. I don’t have clarity, or a fix, or a “mindset shift.” Right now I’m just trying to live inside the overlap, not disappearing into motherhood, and not abandoning the work that keeps me feeling like myself. Even if what I manage is small and imperfect, I just don’t want to wake up one day and realise I drifted out of my own life without noticing. Maybe this is what “both” looks like for now