2024 sucked major. my wife left me. my kids are getting a divorce. what’s next? at least i get two christmases now. but no wife. each and every one of you are to blame. not my sweet sweet sicko reply guys (boob pic slide 9 your welcome). no. my family. my friends. my own mother. shame on you. of all the standup comedy shows i forced you to come to so i didn’t look like a BOZO in front of all of my unemployed friends, you didn’t one single time even ASK me what i do for work. you didn’t even ask me where im FROM!? Monument, Colorado baby, the Paris of the West. Bet you didn’t even know that about me. too busy on your phones. too busy scrolling. too busy liking and jerking and ogling. too busy liking crowd work clips when you could be participating in one RIGHT NOW. look up! i’m up here!!! i’m telling my jokes! have you ever heard of this? have you seen this? i’m talking about some really serious stuff (airplane food, i’m on the apps, i’m single...as you can tell) up here and all you care about is matt freaking rife on your I Phone!? wake up. you better thank your lucky stars i’m not posting names. lucky for you i have 6 other phones filled to the brim with straight up garbage standup comedy clips and pictures of holes you don’t even know the name of. 2025 will be our year fr 😂 pray my wife returns. but until then. two MLK Days 🫡