Here’s the truth that finally broke my self-abandonment pattern:⁠ ⁠ you can’t stop abandoning yourself through willpower or better planning—⁠ your body has to feel safe choosing you.⁠ ⁠ Most of us don’t abandon ourselves because we want to.⁠ We do it because our nervous system learned early on that belonging, harmony, being “easy” or even being the "cool girl/boy" kept us safe.⁠ ⁠ So when you try to set a boundary…⁠ try to say no…⁠ or even try to take up space…⁠ ⁠ your body interprets it as danger, not growth.⁠ ⁠ That’s why self-abandonment doesn’t break at the mindset level.⁠ It breaks at the identity + safety level.⁠ ⁠ And once I understood that, everything shifted.⁠ ⁠ If you’ve struggled with self-abandonment, here’s the real path out:⁠ ⁠ 1. You choose a new identity:⁠ ⁠ “I’m becoming the version of me who doesn’t leave myself behind.”⁠ Not a performance.⁠ A devotion.⁠ ⁠ 2. You pair it with micro-actions your nervous system can actually hold:⁠ ⁠ – Saying “no” when you mean no⁠ – Not overexplaining⁠ – Letting one boundary stay in place⁠ – Allowing someone else to be disappointed⁠ – Not rushing to rescue or fix⁠ ⁠ 3. You have an action plan for what to do post-setting the boundary with yourself too⁠ (because major guilt can set in). ⁠ ⁠ They seem tiny.⁠ But tiny is how your body learns safety.⁠ ⁠ Because transformation doesn’t start with a plan.⁠ ⁠ It starts with creating an inner reality where choosing yourself doesn’t feel like a threat.⁠ ⁠ Once your body feels safe honoring you,⁠ your entire life begins to reorganize around this new identity forming. ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ #nervoussystemhealing⁠ #selfdevotion⁠ #innerexpansion⁠ #healingyourbody⁠ #selfabandonmentrecovery⁠ #embodiedhealing⁠ #identitywork⁠ #traumapatterns⁠ #candicelapinmindset