I didn’t know how I was going to feel today. Every other day is for honoring her—for feeling her presence, practicing her rituals, and keeping her legacy alive. Every other day I will say, I continue on for her. I promise to make her proud, to live fiercely and full of love exactly as she ordered us to, as crippling as it feels to even try. But today is different. This day, is for my sorrow, my longing, and my anger that time was stolen from us. Today marks a full year without the most important person in my life. It’s hard to put the devastation into words. To describe just how lost and colorless my world feels without you mom. My best friend said, “You’re basically learning how to walk and breathe from scratch”, and no one has put it more eloquently than that. My slate has been wiped clean, and I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want condolences, or “rest in peace” or “she’s in a better place”. I want my mom. I will want my mom for the rest of my life.