9:41 am. I didn’t know this year would look like this. Many surprises, various lessons. It feels rewarding to gain, devastating to lose. Extremely devastating. But then you remember how lessons don’t have a preference in the results that catapult you to your greatness, whatever that may be. But this post is about loss. Every lesson is necessary. Lost love, lost trust, lost faith. Everyday I look at myself thinking, how could I have changed this and why does it have to hurt so much. Recognizing my faults and thinking that will be enough to push forward, together. A good friend told me to write it all down and burn it and watch the universe respond. The heaviness of my heart want’s to believe it would stop me from waking up to these same feelings, these same thoughts. God is showing me now what faith really means. When you absolutely want to turn your back on faith, turn your back on your current circumstances, that’s where faith is the strongest. When you wish to pull people back into your arms but they’re no where to be found, that’s where faith resides. When you think of the blessing that would’ve manifested in your womb as you lay rubbing on what would’ve been a new life but didn’t make it, that’s where faith resides. When you can really say your intentions were nothing but good in a situation that ended badly, faith. Never lose your faith, and know whatever pain you endure is leading up to something greater than you ever imagined.