In an essay for HuffPost, guest writer Andrea Ross delves into the importance of recognizing the lifelong trauma of adoption. “I’m not anti-adoption, but I’m exasperated with how the media often glosses over, exploits or simplifies adoption’s complexities for popular consumption,” says Ross, author of “Unnatural Selection: A Memoir of Adoption and Wilderness.” Adopted at three weeks by loving parents who were unable to conceive, Ross knew from the beginning that she had been adopted. “My parents explained to me that my birth mother was a teen and that in the 1960s unwed mothers had few good choices. They were compassionate about my birth mother’s situation and her decision to place me with adoptive parents.” “Yet much of society gives adopted people subtle and not-so-subtle messages that we have been saved from a terrible fate, and that we should feel lucky to have been ‘rescued.‘” This judgment renders “the birth mother as a promiscuous, irresponsible, drug-addicted or generally bad person [when] the reasons for relinquishing a child are many and nuanced.” “When a traumatized person struggling with issues of abandonment is told they are lucky, that they should be grateful ... it negates the emotional experience of that person.” “When the adopted child is of a different race than the adoptive parents, the bigotry can be exponentially worse.” Read Ross’ full essay at our link in bio.