I am waiting for the rain, for the clouds to pour down. I am waiting for lighting to strike down, for my cries to come out. I am waiting for my heart to shatter, for my soul to feel hallow. I am waiting for sadness to come running at my feet like a river meeting the sea. But when I stop waiting and indulge in the simple things; my cheeks become sore from smiling, my fingertips touch rose petals and my nostrils take in the smell of lavender. My heart feels lighter, my feet run faster, and my arms wrap around me tighter. I am waiting for disaster to strike but when I am still, I am faced with peace. is this what happens when you let go of something that no longer serves you? You stay up late dancing. You watch the darkness become a starry night. You say yes to things that scare you. You look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are doing great. You hold your pillow tight and before you can count to 10, you drift into a blissful dream. You wake up early and mediate. You cook meals made with love. You treat yourself better because you know life is hard. You know sadness and fear are valid emotions and deserve space, but you also know that you deserve joy and compassion. You open the door of your apartment and walk into the unknown, knowing you have the tools to solve anything life throws your way. Life is better when you are out with friends. Life is better when you are swinging your arms to catch the blessings the universe brings you. Life is better when you stop operating from a place of guilt and start putting yourself first. Life is just better when you stop waiting for heartache and start living in full flesh. I am done waiting. I am ready to taste the sweetness that comes with falling in love with myself.