I was talking to my friend @cailinrusso the other day about how to be *online*. I mean how we represent ourselves, especially those of us where being online is part of our job. One DM really bugged me. I was at Adele's birthday and I posted a video of us in pajamas. Yes I know it's unusual to be friends with an icon but I am and she's one of my best friends and I don't know what to say about that. But anyway I posted a video of us on my story and someone responded, 'Your writing is good enough! Disappear off social media and become a hero!' I have realized that I am only bothered by critiques I fear may be true. If someone said 'you hate raccoons and I hate you,' I wouldn't take offense because I do not hate raccoons. But this message slid right under my skin and got in my blood. I do wish I was mysterious and out of reach. I wish I was Cormac McCarthy, living in the desert, not accepting visitors or interviews. I wish I was Wendell Berry, handwriting letters from my farm where I decline an invitation to the White House. Well, my dear reader, I am not. I am an extrovert who loves parties and drinking and sleepovers and country music and whiskey slaps and velvet ropes and TikTok and sleeping in the dirt and meeting random people. My 'image' is not constructed. I am too hedonistic to do that. I am too busy being an enneagram seven, gluttonous for life, to wonder how I'm coming across and if that will make my books sell. I hate to sound ridiculous but I don't know who that man is. Sorry to my publisher. A well constructed personal brand feels like lying and I’m a terrible liar. And so, sometimes, someone will read my books and find me online and see that I am posting funny TikToks. That might not align with your mysterious travel queer mystic author image. But, somewhere in the cosmic bigness of identity, I can assure you that whatever I am aligns with reality. I may never be your hero. But that’s a good thing. Just take from me what you like and leave the rest. Like a sometimes tasty buffet. If you wanna hear me and Cailin talk all about this and music, and identity... give this weeks Question the Self episode a listen. Just uploaded it. <3