still processing this one. sometimes bad things happen that make you wonder if you’ll ever feel good again, and that’s how this year began. this year kicked off with a pretty traumatic event that almost upended my whole life. i won’t get into all the details at this time, but what i will say is that i’m grateful to be here. i’m grateful to my community who helped me get back on my feet and settled in a safe place. i’m grateful to have had the time to recuperate. i’m grateful for everything. when i saw that i made @forbesunder30, a tidal wave of emotions washed over me. i felt everything from pure glee to total imposter syndrome. i usually feel this surplus of emotion whenever good news comes my way. i think a lot of artists feel this way. like it’s all just too good to be true. for anyone at the intersections of marginalization, these feelings hit even harder. this world doesn’t want us to win, so when we do, sometimes it’s arduous to celebrate. sometimes you find yourself holding your breath waiting for the other shoe to drop. that’s how i’ve spent a great deal of the last year. i replayed the words of those telling me that i *can’t* more than i listened to those who told me i *could* or even that i *will.* more recently, i’ve paid attention to the latter. i’ve learned to make space for the joy, and it feels good. if i don’t celebrate myself, then who will? instead of holding my breath every time a good thing comes my way, i’m going to breathe it in. i’m going to push myself to cherish these moments because they are unfortunately fleeting. one can only spend so much time dwelling and dissecting and reflecting and yes, even healing. life is for living. in a world that doesn’t want to see girls like me survive let alone thrive, i would be remiss to not celebrate all the goodness that comes to me. and this isn’t the end of it. it’s not even the beginning. this all began with my ancestors who defied the status quo and chose their truths over someone else’s expectations. anyway, i’m celebrating today. i’ll be blasting sza’s new album and loving on myself 😶‍🌫️🍃✨