Jan. 7, 2025. My first birthday without my dad. His birthday is exactly one month after mine. Right now I am physically weak but have probably never been mentally stronger. No person or thing will get in my way. Once you have lived with suffering for 20 years and then spent the next 20 years watching the person you loved most slowly deteriorate before your eyes, before staring death in the face, it changes you forever. Most people who have an aging or sick parent try to avoid it or run away. Some even point a finger to mask their guilt. I did the opposite. I tried my best and sacrificed certain opportunities to be close to my father. I have no regrets about that. I am now further separated from the rest of humanity than I ever was before. Younger me felt lonely, but the new me feels invincible, relieved even. Like my father, I never wanted to be like most people, and I never fit in. When life takes something most precious from you, you give even less of a shit about things and people who don’t matter. Those political arguments in the comment section? Who cares. That miserable person who doesn’t like you because they’re jealous? Whatever. Reporting my content because you’ll never be brave enough to create or post your own? lolz. What comes around goes around. A karmic boomerang. 2025 cracked me open and put me together. Lies from childhood cleared. Ex boyfriends apologizing decades later. People who slandered my name moving out of the neighborhood. Fake friends fall away, unfollow, but stalk. That’s the thing about resilient, scrappy people like myself…we’re always up to something worth watching. I don’t know what’s next, but I do know this: A life that isn’t yours shouldn’t bother you. Remember “the man in the arena.” If you’re waiting for your year, remember it took me 40 years to get some of the answers, justice, and apologies I’d been searching for since childhood. And we’re not even done yet. So if you’re good at heart, God will put you back together in front of those who broke you. Stronger than ever. We deserve every good thing coming our way. ♑️