Son I find myself driving, always driving. Constantly on the move. It’s my coping mechanism. I’m lost searching for my way home to you. Looking for you. Searching for my joy like a frustrated detective. I’m hoping a different combination of right and left turns will lead me back down the path to where you were at home waiting on me. I’m stuck in a labyrinth. I miss your sweet face. I can’t sit still. I drive but I know I’m lost. I keep myself distracted to numb the pain. I’m use to the tears now. The anger is more diluted. The acceptance has grown. Your absence is potent. I let the tears flow. I’m ok being vulnerable. It’s freeing. I’m liberated. You’d be proud of your big Sis. She’s wonderful. Brilliant. Evolving. Your Mom is the Rock. Holding us all up. Wiping my tears when I’m too exhausted to do it myself. I’m missing you always. My pretty boy. Thank you for coming to me in my dreams. Your spirit warms me. I feel your arms wrapping me up. It keeps me moving. Someday I’ll walk with you and hold you again. Please keep coming to see me. Keep whispering in my ear. Love you my sweet beautiful boy. Thank you to all my friends and family for allowing me to lean on them over these last four years. My son Bryan thanks you too💙💙💙