Really excited to share an image from a personal project I’ve been working on about my exploration of drag and the reclamation of a part of my self that was conditioned out of me. Being present and connected to my body is something that I have always had difficulty with. For years I’ve watched performers in Brooklyn take to the stage and exude a power that I have always wanted to access but just didn’t think I’d be able to grasp. The thought of being new at something, the inevitability of being bad at it, and all the parts in my brain that have protected me have all been really overwhelming feelings to sift through. But I have been thinking a lot lately about who I have to become if I want my life to be about my healing as opposed to my trauma. One of the most beautiful (but painful) parts about queerness is the responsibility you sometimes feel to turn your sadness into something else. I’ve been practicing a form of therapy known as internal family systems which (simplistically) works to identify your various “parts” (protectors, managers, etc) and unblend them from your “self”. Think of the sun as your “self” and the “parts” as clouds on a grey day. You never lose your “self” but it can be obscured by your parts. It’s a process that involves acknowledging the role these parts have played in your life thus far, thanking them for the ways in which they have held you up, but asking them to step aside so something new can be touched by the sun. I named my drag persona Courage because that is one of the “8 c’s” of self-leadership that IFS works to provide. On Sunday, I perform for the first time on a stage outside of the safety of @judy.bk, at @nylivearts with @bubble____t, a collective that has given me so much joy and community. I’m excited and nervous and hope to see you all there. Ticket link in my bio <3