It was Sasha's birthday just a few days ago, and it's time for another traditional post. I did a short astrology reading with someone just before Sasha's birthday and he was so spot on. The reading was about something else, but it needed both mine and Sasha's charts. And so the astrologer mentioned our relationship. And how karmic it is - that it is not the first time we traverse life together, there were other lifetimes in different genders, ages and forms. That it is a difficult karma, and so it is not easy for both of us, and yet there is a lot of love present from me to him and him to me. That my relationship karma is not that great anyway according to my chart, but Sasha's chart crossed out my personal life entirely :)))) Hearing this felt like a huge relief for me. I used to have this mother's guilt about why everyone I know seems to enjoy motherhood and time together with their children. And it seems easy and light. And even when it is not easy and light, there is still some lightness about it. They do things together, spend time as a family. And our life is full of tension and conflict. We want different things. We argue about doing them. And yet there is still that love in the background and the feeling of being whole next to each other. Somehow there was this relief that there is nothing wrong with me, it is just ... karma.That if I didn't have my son, it would come to me in a different way and form, but it would. I just relaxed into acceptance that my motherhood is like that. Surrendered to the fact that it is not how others experience it. And it's ok. And so I am grateful - grateful for my karma coming to me in the form of this lively active stubborn boy. Grateful for his father, who, although doesn't contribute financially at all, organises the best birthdays ever for him - I couldn't have done that at all. Grateful for my amazing mother, without her help with raising my son, I would have gone crazy. And this is not an exaggeration. Grateful for my amazing friends - who helped me so much... My work that I do wouldn't have been possible without them looking after Sasha when I needed. @keshasound @irinagromovairina I love you ♥️