There are certain archetypes you encounter when dating as a fat person — particularly a woman who dates men. Take Nora, who joined Tinder in 2015, when she was 32 and newly back in New York. “I was a little nervous about being a fat person,” she says, “but I was in a good place with my fatness.” It’s not that Nora looked down on fat fetishists, but she wasn’t interested in being a fetish object — a particular liability in app dating, which often requires a fair amount of profile analysis and conversational snooping to suss out intentions you might catch with a glance when meeting at a bar. So when she met Sean (not his real name), she found herself in a tough spot. “He was definitely into me because I was fat,” she says. Unfortunately, Nora’s experience isn’t unique. There’s a lot of gross dude behavior online, and for fat women, that behavior is not only even more prevalent, but often more insidious and difficult to parse. Head to the link in bio for @mskelseymiller’s story about navigating the apps as a fat woman.