I am the middle child of 3 girls, one 7 years older and the other 7 years younger. I have been the peacemaker, the instigator, the mediator, the do what it takes even if you don't like it kind of person my whole life. I learned at a very young age what no we can't afford it meant, so I learned not to ask for things. I created art instead. I was told that the world wasn't fair and that worse things have happened to better people, and that I shouldn't complain about my misfortunes. So I learned I didn't deserve anything better than anyone else. Deal with it with grace. I learned from my parents that love isn't enough and even though you love someone it doesn't mean they won't hurt and leave you. I learned that love is conditional and it can be taken away. When I watched my mom pass away while I held my little sister in my arms my heart broke into pieces. I became closed off. I had terrible abusive toxic relationships. I built a barrier so thick and tough around my heart that no one else could get in. I used drugs to numb the pain, I didn't want to feel anything. I numbed myself for a long time pretending it didn't matter and I was strong. I didn't give a fuck. And in every relationship since then I only ever gave part of me, for fear of getting hurt and left behind again. My tolerance for pain and suffering grew and I was good at "just dealing with it" cause I felt I didn't deserve better. I AM dealing with it now. 11 years later my wounds are still there waiting for me. These last couple months have transformed and opened my heart in ways I can't even put into words yet. I am on a spiritual journey of healing. I AM worthy of love. I am so grateful to @thelovegurusla and to all my friends who have supported me with love. I am not hiding anymore. It is time to walk through the fire. . *You deserve everything you dream of simply because you can dream it* . . . . . . @stronger #climbgirls #mountaingirls #liveyouradventure #livemorehappy #girlsthatclimb #exploreeverything #lovethelifeyoulive #standinyourpower #truth #liveyourtruth #healing #yeahapril