— Music — is my first language. I began playing the piano when I was 2 years old, before fully speaking Japanese. I was born with perfect pitch and synesthesia— where I see colors in harmonies of music. Musical expression is how I articulate emotions most fluently. I started to “journal” in music on the piano when I lost my muscle on my left hand when I was 19. I was diagnosed with this very rare thing, called juvenile muscular atrophy. It’s not genetic, it doesn’t spread (thank goodness) the brain randomly sent signals through nerves to muscle on my left hand to destroy all the cells. It only happens to kids between 18 and 25, one in 6,000 chances. There is no known cause nor cure. At the moment I was playing the cello quite vigorously in addition to the piano. When I found out I was devastated and completely isolated myself from music. But I couldn’t stay away for too long because music is my language after all. I lost my ability to play perfectly especially classical music. I knew what it should sound like in my head, but my fingers lost the control required to follow sheet music. It was truly humbling and heart-breaking. Away from pre-written music, I tried to cope with all the mixed emotions that were coming up at the time by sitting in front of the piano and identifying them with harmonies and melody, freely. Every note and harmony became more intentional and meaningful than ever before. What seemed like a tragedy liberated me from all the judgements that came from my teacher, audition judges, mother and my perfectionist voice in my head. — “Why strive for perfection when you have physical limitation anyway?” — I started to turn all sorts of feels into music— there, my true journey of musical expression began. Fast forward 15 years, I cannot imagine my life without the creative, improvisational outlet in music. I treat every performance as it could be my last one. You never know what happens in life. Against all the odds and adversaries, I’m grateful to share my art. Perhaps — these odds and adversaries make my music. 🙏♥️🤗