Couples often feel less satisfied after the baby comes. Career transitions can lead to divorce. Illness can shake a marriage—especially when the woman is the one who gets sick. Even empty nesters face another spike in divorce. It’s easy to hear all of this and think: Maybe committing to someone just doesn’t work. Maybe love can’t survive life’s big changes. But the surface-level data leaves something out. It’s not the change itself that breaks a relationship rather it’s how we respond to the stress of that change. Big life transitions are demanding because both partners are suddenly trying to: – Self-regulate – Problem-solve – Compromise – Redefine roles – Navigate identity shifts It’s messy. It’s hard. It’s frustrating. And at first, it can feel like your partner is the problem. But often, it’s the stress talking. When couples forget that, they start to blame each other, shut down, get critical, avoid, deny— All the things we know don’t help a relationship thrive. What I wish more couples knew is this: If you're going through a big change and things feel off or disconnected, it doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong. It might just mean that something is new. One of the best things you can do is stabilize your relationship by leaning into a “we mindset.” Something as simple as: 🗨️ “We’ve got this.” 🗨️ “Things feel off—let’s figure it out together.” When there is change, expect discomfort and work toward managing that together.